Chrissy Don’t they say laughter is the best medicine? Well, it is, besides traveling of course. Here I have complied a list of 218 funny travel quotes that will knock your socks off your feet. I am pretty sure if you’re an avid traveler like me you can relate to each one of these hilarious funny travel quotes, if not all.
Give yourself a good chuckle with these insanely funny travel captions for your Instagram until you’re on the next jet plane.
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Table of Contents
Funny Travel Quotes
1| “Travitude (n.) when you start to feel grumpy and sassy because you haven’t travelled in a while”- Unknown
2| “ You’ve never felt true fear until your passport isn’t where you think you left it.- Unknown
3| “What’s that medical condition called where you constantly need to have a trip booked?”
4|“Should I book another flight to go abroad? Brain: no. Wallet: no. Mom: no. Dog: no. Universe: no…I think I’m gonna book the flight.”- Unknown
5| “Birds literally just eat, travel, and shit on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you, but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for.”- Unknown
6| “Friend 1: I’m getting a house. Friend 2: I’m having a baby. Friend 3: I’m getting married. Me: I’m headed to the airport.”- Unknown
7|“The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” – Rudyard Kipling
8| “Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands.”- Unknown
9| “I feel like most of my problems could be solved with a trip to…well, anywhere.” – Anonymous
10| “When you’re trying to save money for a house, but end up with a one-way ticket to some tropical island.”- Unknown
11| “I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags.” – Guy Clark
12| “Traveling’s not something you’re good at. It’s something you do. Like breathing.” – Gayle Foreman
13| “If you’re upset when traveling, just thing about a T-Rex trying to drink a martini…”- Unknown
14| “Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?” – Erma Bombeck
15| “What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?” – George Carlin
16| “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a plane ticket and that’s kind of the same thing.”-Unknown
17| “There’s nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home.”-Stephen Colbert
18| “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” — Al Gore
19| “A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.” – Chelsea Handler
20| “Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.” –Unknown
21| “The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.” – Britney Spears
22| “Don’t worry about the world ending today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.”-Charles M. Schulz
23| “Adventure, yeah. I guess that’s what you call it when everybody comes back alive.” – Mercedes Lackey
24| “People complain there’re delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years”- Louis C.K.
25| “Traveling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station. ” – Lisa St. Aubin de Teran
26| “Any time you fly somewhere, don’t pay your credit card bill. If the plane crash lands, those people will never stop looking for you.” -Kelkulus
27| “Me: I want to travel more. Bank account: like, to the park?”- Unknown
28| “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything!” –Steve Martin
29| “I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.” – Unknown
30|“There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror.” – Orson Welles
31| “I don’t want a house. I just want to travel and pet a lot of dogs.”
32| “No matter where you go, there you are.” – Buckaroo Banzai
33| “There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane. Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do.” – Rich Jeni
34| “The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently situated right here in the United States.” –Dave Barry
35| “How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?” – George Roberts
36| “I’m getting tired of waking up and not being on the beach.”-Unknown
37| “If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home.” – James Michener
38| “Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life.” – Jia Tolentino
39| “When I go To Travel, I changed my password to incorrect. So whenever I forget my password, the login tells me, the password is incorrect.”-Unknown
Funny Travel Instagram Captions
40| “Catch flights not feelings.” -Unknown
41| “I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories.”- Unknown
42| “High five if you don’t know what you’re doing with your life and just want to travel the world.”- Unknown
43| “You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket.”- Unknown
44| “TIP: You won’t get the holiday blues if you just keep booking holidays.”- Unknown
45| “Procrastapacking (n.) the act of thinking about packing a suitcase instead of actually doing it.”- Unknown
46| “Airports: the only place where drinking at 8 AM is socially acceptable.”- Unknown
47| “Running to the gate is my cardio.”- Unknown
48| “Work hard, travel harder.” -Unknown
49| “If you had to choose between true love or traveling the world, which country would you visit first?- Unknown
50| “A plane ticket is the answer. Who cares what the question is.”-Unknown
51| “Me traveling. Person: “Un cafe?” Me: “Oui.” Person: “Sucre.” Me: “Non.” Person: “You speak very good French.” Me: “Gracias.”-Unknown
52| “Tripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any travel trips currently booked.”- Unknown
53| “Suitcases are for princesses!”- Unknown
54| “Travessed (n.) An obsession with travel. When all you talk or think about is your past or future trips.” -Unknown
55| “People having babies…and I’m like: What country am I going to next?”-Unkown
56| “Go to work. Open computer. Scroll for plane tickets for 6 hours. Close computer. Go home.” -Unknown.
57| “I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel magazine!”-Unknown
58| “Work tip: stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return.”- Unknown
59| “Yeah, working is great…but have you tried traveling.”- Unknown
60| “All you need is love a passport.”- Unknown
61| “Life goal: Create a life that people assume you have anyway based on your Instagram account!”-Unknown
62| “Reality called so I hung up.”- Unknown
63| “A change of latitude would help my attitude.”- Unknown
64| “If at some point you don’t ask yourself “What have I gotten myself into?” then you’re not doing it right. – Roland Gau
65| I have panicked unnecessarily in all four corners of the globe. – Jon Ronson
66| “I’m a travel addict on the road to recovery. Just kidding, I’m on the road to the airport.” – Anonymous
67| “ I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag
68| “Work, save, travel, repeat.” -Unknown
69| “The best way to know a city is to eat it.” – Scott Westerfeld
70| “”Traveling is like a box of chocolates. Don’t matter what you get, all is good!”-Unknown
71| “I would totally give up travel, but I’m not a quitter.” – Anonymous
72| “I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”-Caskie Stinnett
73| “ Have you ever stopped to think, maybe travel is addicted to me?”- Unknown.
74| “Screw the caviar, I want to travel the world!” –Unknown
75| “Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in an office or mowing your lawn. Climb that damn mountain.”– Jack Kerouac
76| “If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I’m a size window seat in plane tickets.” – Anonymous
77| “Girls don’t wait for the prince anymore, they pack and travel the world.” – Unknown
Funny Vacation Quotes
78| “All I want for Christmas is you forever vacation.”- Unknown
79| “Me getting ready for vacation: manicure and pedicure, buy new Sephora products, spray tan, get waxed, get hair done, work out for a month, live off kale and veggies, try on 30K swimsuits and cry in dressing rooms. Husband getting ready for vacation: packs a bathing suit, flip-flops, a T-shirt, and calls it a day.”- Unknown
80| “Be right back…” Just running away from Monday and going straight to the airport. “- Unknown
81| “A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.” – Robert Orben
82| “The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” –Russel Baker
83| “It’s bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.” – Anonymous
84| “You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your drivers license”-Unknown
85| “I heard an airplane passing overhead. I wished I was on it.”- Unknown
86| “Isn’t it amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?” – Zig Ziglar
87| “I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal.” – Jarod Kintz
88| “I need a vacation of 6 months. Twice a year!” – Unknown
89| “The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts.” – Anthony Price
90| “My goal is to hit the gym every day I’m on vacation. Usually I just end up sleeping and drinking beer.” – Gary Allan
91| “Me before vacation: “I’m going to be responsible with my money. This is a low budget trip. I’m gonna stay in a hostel and everything.”Me on vacation: *orders fancy drinks, rides a jetski, goes skydiving, buys souvenirs for the uncle’s new girlfriend and adopts an alpaca.*”- Unknown
Funny Vacation Captions
92| “I need a vacation so long that I forget my passwords!” -Unknown
93| “Just a reminder that I’m going on vacation and you’re not.”-Unknown
94| “I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3 day vacation. Just in case.” – Unknown
95| “I can’t afford vacation, so I am just going to drink until I don’t know where I am.”- Unknown
96| “Life is a trip, plan your next vacation.” – Matthe Fryer
97| “Ladies, imagine this. It’s 15 years from now, and you have no kids. You’re the cool wine aunt that occasionally comes back to the country for a brief visit before leaving for another long exotic vacation. You have no commitments, and a suspicious amount of money.”- Unknown
98| “Live a life you don’t need a vacation from.”- Unknown
99| “I need a holiday. And by “holiday” I mean I need to move away and find a job. On the beach. With cocktails. “ – Unknown
100| “There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.” Unknown
101| “Vacation calories don’t count, right?”- Unknown
102|“I need a vacation, not a stupid weekend.”- Unknown
103| “My favorite place to vacation is anyplace by the ocean.” – Nina Arianda
104| “Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle
105| “ I’ve got 99 problems. But I am on vacation and I am ignoring them all! “-Unknown
Funny Quotes About Traveling With Friends
106| “You and me, we are more than friends. We are like a small travel gang!”- Unknown
107| “You can pack for every occasion, but a good friend will always be the best thing you could bring!” – Unknown
108| “Traveling in the company of those we love is home in motion.”– Leigh Hunt “Only the people you don’t know well enough seem normal. Every person you know well enough is odd, weird and different. This is called friendship!”- Unknown
109| “There is a whole world out there. Pack your backpack, your best friend and go.”- Unknown
110| “ I need a friend I can call in the middle of the night, tell him we have to leave, and the only sentence coming back is “when do we leave?“- Unknown
111| “ I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” –Mark Twain
112| “Life is about doing things that don’t suck with people who don’t suck.”- Unknown
113| “The more I traveled, the more I realized fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.” – Shirley MacLaine“There are no strangers in this world, only friends I haven’t met yet.”- Unknown
114| “Let’s always vacay together.”- Unknown
115| “In life, it’s not where you go, it’s who you travel with.” -Charles Schultz
116| I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m going. Are you coming with me?”- Unknown
117| “Sometimes all you need is a great friend and thirst for adventure.”- Unknown
118| “A good friend listens to your adventures. Your best friend makes them with you.”- Unknown
119| “Friend: Let’s go to Bora Bora. Me: Man, I wanna go, but I’m pora pora.”-Unknown
Funny Road Trip Quotes
120| “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” – Jerry Seinfeld
121| “I wish that road trips could pay my bills.” –Unknown
122|“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” – Yogi Berra
123| “Life is beautiful if you are on the road somewhere.”- Orhan Pamuk
124| “Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey.”- Babs Hoffman
125| “On the road again…”- Unknown
126| “A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”-Emile Ganest
127| “Let’s go on a road trip.”- Unknown
128| “Road trips require a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes – oh, and directions.” – Jenn McKinlay
129| “It’s a road trip! It’s about adventure! . . . It’s not like we have somewhere to go.” – John Green
130| “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”-George Carlin
Funny Travel Quotes From Movies
131| “Adventure is out there.” – Up
132| “To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.” – The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty
133| “You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.”- Me Before You
134| “I want adventure in the great, wide somewhere.”- Into The Wild
135| “The world is not in your books and maps, it’s out there.”- The Hobbit
136| “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
137| “We travel just to travel.” – The Motorcycle Diaries
138| “Adventure waits for no one.” – The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty
Short Funny Travel Quotes
139| “Jet lag is for amateurs.” –Unknown
140| “I just need a large coffee, a plane ticket and a bag full of cash. “- Unknown
141| ”Can we just skip to the part in my life where I travel the world?”- Unknown
142| “Don’t be a tourist, be a traveler.” – Unknown
143| “If traveling was free, BYE!”
144| “I’ve got a crush on the world.-Unknown
145| “If an ass goes traveling, he’ll not come home a horse.” – Thomas Fuller
146| “I love those days when my only decision is window or aisle.”-Unknown
147| “If traveling was free, you would never see me again.”-Unknown
148| “Buy the ticket, take the ride.”- Unknown
149| “People don’t take trips – trips take people.” – John Steinbeck
150| “The journey, not the arrival, matters.” – T.S. Eliot
151| “I love my job only when I’m on vacation.”- Unknown
152| “He who would travel happily must travel light.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery
153| “Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.” – Jim Gaffigan
154| “When in doubt, travel.”- Unknown
155| “I regret traveling said nobody ever!”- Unknown
156| ”I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.” –Bob Hope
157| ”Education is important. But travel is importanter!”-Unknown
158| “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.” – Unknown
159| “Backpacking is money spent on education.” –Unknown
160| “Good things come to those who book flights.”-Unknown
161| “If traveling was free, you would never see me again.”-Unknown
162| “Adventure without risk is Disneyland.” – Doug Coupland
Funny Cruise Quotes
163| “Time to get ship faced.”- Unknown
164| “If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise.”-Unknown
165| “I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It’s no Titanic, but I’m optimistic.”- Unknown
166| “Bad girls don’t drink and drive…they sip and cruise.”- Unknown
167| “Seas the day and book cruise!”- Unknown
168| “On cruise mode!”- Unknown
169| “Cruise is my favorite season.”- Unknown
170| “The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh at the same as the boat.” – Maxine Humor
171| “Shipfaced!”- Unknown
172| “I work to support my cruising addiction.”- Unknown
173| “Work sucks, I’m going on a cruise.”- Unknown
174| “People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal.” –Melanie White
175| “Warning! I bought the drink package.”- Unknown
176| “Is it cruise o’clock yet?”- Unknown
177| “Living life one cruise at a time.”- Unknown
178| “Eat. Sleep. Boat. Repeat.”- Unknown
179| “Only on a cruise ship will you pay hundreds of dollars a day to sleep in a closet.”- Maxine Humor
180| “Let’s keep it classy on the cruise and promise we won’t dare anyone to jump off the ship.”- Unknown
181| “Honey, pack your “fat pants.” We’re going on a cruise!”- Unknown
Funny Family Vacation Quotes
182| “Help me! I’m on a family vacation.”- Unknown
183| “A family that travels together stays together.”- Unknown
184| “Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together.” – Unknown
185| “Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad.”- Unknown
Funny Relatable Quotes About Travel
186| “I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world.” – Anonymous
187| “My mom watches a special type of news program that only reports on horrible incidents happening in places I’m about to visit.”- Unknown
188| “Me: I’m not going to overpack this time. Inner me: I need this. I will need that as well. I need everything.
189| “A passport holder sounds like a great idea until you get to the airport and have to remove it 4 billion times.”- Unknown
190| “By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling and comes to family events tipsy.”- Unknown
191|“Packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip. Unpacks 3 months after coming home.”
192| “Some people spending their life searching for “the one.” I’m just searching for the one good travel deal.”-Unknown
193| “Me: triple checked packing list Also me: *forgets underwear, contact solution, and favorite chapstick*”- Unknown
194| “So, do I live out of a suitcase for the next month? Do I unpack just to repack again? Do I put my toothbrush back in the bathroom? I’m a visitor in my own house what the heck.”- Unknown
195| “That moment when you’re asked where you got something and you answer with the name of the country, not the name of the store.- Unknown
196| “Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before.” -The Dalai Lama
197| “My parents complain I travel too much. I mean, I could be a drug addict, do they realize how lucky they are?” –Unknown
198| “Do you ever stress about money and then accidentally book another flight?”- Unknown
199| “At the end of the day…I’d rather like to have a lot of stories to tell, then a full bank account.”
200| “Nothing says ‘vacation’ like spending $72 on food and booze at the airport before even reaching your destination.” – Ashley Fern
201| “How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel.”-Unknown
202| “Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.” – Unknown
203| “My favorite thing to pack on trips are all the clothes I never wear at home and then find fun, flirty and exciting ways to not wear them while I’m away.” – Adam Rippon
204| “My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I’m thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.” – Dennis Miller
205| “The airport is a lawless place. 7 am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost 17$.” – Alyssa Limperis
206| “I just want to travel the world, overspend at IKEA and drink coffee while cuddling puppies.”- Unknown
207| “My favorite memory from childhood is my parents paying for my holidays.” – Unknown
208| “People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.” – Dagobert D. Runes
209| “I love when people say “just quit your job and travel.” Taking an Uber from the bar to my home is the only travel I can afford.”- Unknown
210| “Please remain seated until we’ve reached the gate, then feel free to stand hunched over weirdly sideways for 15 minutes while we do whatever.” – ContritePerson
211| “The temptation to go to the airport, buy a one way ticket, leave the country and live on my own has never been so real.” – American Nomad
212| “You want to know what it’s like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don’t stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breathe your own air over and over and over.” –Lewis Black
213| “You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux
214| “When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to disassemble a bomb? They take it and they’re like, ‘What do I do … I don’t really … ha-huh …’ Yeah, it’s the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!”-Dane Cook
215| “Stuck somewhere between “I need to save” and “you only live once.” – Unknown
216| “Normal life: Wears the same top every day for a week. Packing for 3-day vacation: I’ll probably change a few times a day so I’ll take 21 tops.”- Unknown
217| “If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal.” -Paulo Coelho
218| “Everyone is getting pregnant, engaged or getting married. I just wanna lose weight and travel.”- Unknown
Funny Travel Quotes & Funny Travel Captions Conclusion
I hope you enjoyed this extensive list of funny travel quotes I complied for you. Did these funny travel quotes tickle your fancy? Let me know which funny travel captions were your favorite? If you have a hilarious quote, leave it in the comments below. No need to let it waste. I will mix it in with the other funny travel quotes with credit!
Have a love for travel quotes? Check out my other posts with travel quotes and captions to inspire you for your adventures.
- Best Friend Travel Quotes
- Traveling Alone Quotes
- Beach Travel Quotes
- Quotes About Miami
- Summer Captions & Quotes
- Beautiful Quotes About Greece
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HELP: I was unsuccessful finding the author of some of these funny travel quotes. Please leave me a comment or send me a message if you know who the unknown authors are. I would love to give them credit.
HELP: I was unsuccessful finding the author of some of these funny travel quotes. Please leave me a comment or send me a message if you know who the unknown authors are. I would love to give them credit.
Love this quotes! They’re super unique.
Thank you Bliss, glad you enjoyed them 🙂
Haha these gave me a laugh, I especially love 98! Thanks so much for sharing!
Hello Jasmine. I am glad they gave you a good laugh!
Some fantastic quotes here! I definitely laughed aloud at some of these! My personal favourite is always “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” I’m not sure how those machines manage to make me look SO bad in the photo, but it is definitely an accurate representation of how I look when I get off a plane!
Hi Hannah! I am so happy you enjoyed the quotes. That is a good one. They make me look bad too! lol
These quotes are so cute! And there are so many I haven’t heard before -they kept me entertained for a while! Thanks for putting a smile on my face 🙂
I am so happy I could put a smile your face Coni. I love funny travel quotes and so thrilled you enjoyed them.
These are great for a giggle!!
Thanks so much for reading Roshni! Glad they gave you a giggle 🙂
Love a good travel quote 🙂 The one about the airport being a lawless place… so true. haha thanks for sharing 🙂
So true Lora. The airport is a lawless place lol!
These are great. I love a good quote but the funny ones are the best. Awesome list!
Thank you so much Emma. So happy you enjoyed them!
Thank you for sharing. This put a smile on my face 🙂
So glad you enjoyed them!
I love love love this list, it is so great for my travel photo books!
Oh travel books are soooo much fun! I am sure you have a nice one Rebecca!
Fun collection of quotes. #31 about not wanting a house, just to travel and pet a lot of dogs – that could have been said by one of my daughters.
Hi Rhonda! I feel the exact same way as your daughter. She sounds wise! Thanks for reading!