218 Ridiculously Funny Travel Quotes That Travelers Can Relate To

Don’t they say laughter is the best medicine? Well, it is, besides traveling of course.  Here I have complied a list of 218 funny travel quotes that will knock your socks off your feet. I am pretty sure if you’re an avid traveler like me you can relate to each one of these hilarious funny travel quotes, if not all.

Give yourself a good chuckle with these insanely funny travel captions for your Instagram until you’re on the next jet plane.

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Funny Travel Quotes

1| “Travitude (n.) when you start to feel grumpy and sassy because you haven’t travelled in a while”- Unknown

2| “ You’ve never felt true fear until your passport isn’t where you think you left it.- Unknown 

3| “What’s that medical condition called where you constantly need to have a trip booked?” 

4|“Should I book another flight to go abroad? Brain: no. Wallet: no. Mom: no. Dog: no. Universe: no…I think I’m gonna book the flight.”- Unknown

5| “Birds literally just eat, travel, and shit on things they don’t like. I don’t know about you, but that’s the lifestyle I’m striving for.”- Unknown

6| “Friend 1: I’m getting a house. Friend 2: I’m having a baby. Friend 3: I’m getting married.  Me: I’m headed to the airport.”- Unknown

7|“The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” – Rudyard Kipling

8| “Imagine falling in love with someone and then finding out they clap their hands when the plane lands.”- Unknown

9| “I feel like most of my problems could be solved with a trip to…well, anywhere.” – Anonymous

10| “When you’re trying to save money for a house, but end up with a one-way ticket to some tropical island.”- Unknown

11| “I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags.” – Guy Clark

12| “Traveling’s not something you’re good at. It’s something you do. Like breathing.” – Gayle Foreman

13| “If you’re upset when traveling, just thing about a T-Rex trying to drink a martini…”- Unknown

14| “Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?” – Erma Bombeck

15| “What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?” – George Carlin

16| “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a plane ticket and that’s kind of the same thing.”-Unknown

17| “There’s nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home.”-Stephen Colbert

18|  “Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” — Al Gore

19| “A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.” – Chelsea Handler

20| “Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.” –Unknown

21| “The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.” – Britney Spears

22| “Don’t worry about the world ending today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.”-Charles M. Schulz

23| “Adventure, yeah. I guess that’s what you call it when everybody comes back alive.” – Mercedes Lackey

24| “People complain there’re delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years”- Louis C.K.

25| “Traveling is like flirting with life. It’s like saying, ‘I would stay and love you, but I have to go; this is my station. ” – Lisa St. Aubin de Teran

26| “Any time you fly somewhere, don’t pay your credit card bill. If the plane crash lands, those people will never stop looking for you.” -Kelkulus

27| “Me: I want to travel more. Bank account: like, to the park?”- Unknown

28| “Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything!” –Steve Martin

29| “I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance.” – Unknown

30|“There are only two emotions in a plane: boredom and terror.” – Orson Welles

31| “I don’t want a house. I just want to travel and pet a lot of dogs.” 

32| “No matter where you go, there you are.” – Buckaroo Banzai

33| “There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane. Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do.” – Rich Jeni

34| “The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently situated right here in the United States.” –Dave Barry

35| “How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?” – George Roberts

36| “I’m getting tired of waking up and not being on the beach.”-Unknown

37| “If you reject the food, ignore the customs, fear the religion, and avoid the people, you might better stay home.” – James Michener

38| “Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life.” – Jia Tolentino

39| “When I go To Travel, I changed my password to incorrect. So whenever I forget my password, the login tells me, the password is incorrect.”-Unknown

Funny Travel Instagram Captions

40| “Catch flights not feelings.” -Unknown 

41| “I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories.”- Unknown

42| “High five if you don’t know what you’re doing with your life and just want to travel the world.”- Unknown 

43| “You can’t make everyone happy. You are not a plane ticket.”- Unknown

44|  “TIP: You won’t get the holiday blues if you just keep booking holidays.”- Unknown

45| “Procrastapacking (n.) the act of thinking about packing a suitcase instead of actually doing it.”- Unknown

46| “Airports: the only place where drinking at 8 AM is socially acceptable.”- Unknown

47| “Running to the gate is my cardio.”- Unknown

48| “Work hard, travel harder.” -Unknown

49| “If you had to choose between true love or traveling the world, which country would you visit first?- Unknown

50| “A plane ticket is the answer. Who cares what the question is.”-Unknown

51| “Me traveling. Person: “Un cafe?” Me: “Oui.” Person: “Sucre.” Me: “Non.” Person: “You speak very good French.” Me: “Gracias.”-Unknown

52| “Tripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any travel trips currently booked.”- Unknown

53| “Suitcases are for princesses!”- Unknown

54| “Travessed (n.) An obsession with travel. When all you talk or think about is your past or future trips.” -Unknown

55| “People having babies…and I’m like: What country am I going to next?”-Unkown

56| “Go to work. Open computer. Scroll for plane tickets for 6 hours. Close computer. Go home.” -Unknown. 

57| “I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel magazine!”-Unknown

58| “Work tip: stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. Go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return.”- Unknown

59| “Yeah, working is great…but have you tried traveling.”- Unknown

60| “All you need is love a passport.”- Unknown

61| “Life goal: Create a life that people assume you have anyway based on your Instagram account!”-Unknown

62| “Reality called so I hung up.”- Unknown

63| “A change of latitude would help my attitude.”- Unknown

64| “If at some point you don’t ask yourself “What have I gotten myself into?” then you’re not doing it right. – Roland Gau

65| I have panicked unnecessarily in all four corners of the globe. – Jon Ronson

66| “I’m a travel addict on the road to recovery. Just kidding, I’m on the road to the airport.” – Anonymous

67| “ I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.” – Susan Sontag

68| “Work, save, travel, repeat.” -Unknown

69| “The best way to know a city is to eat it.” – Scott Westerfeld

70| “”Traveling is like a box of chocolates. Don’t matter what you get, all is good!”-Unknown

71| “I would totally give up travel, but I’m not a quitter.” – Anonymous

72| “I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”-Caskie Stinnett

73| “ Have you ever stopped to think, maybe travel is addicted to me?”- Unknown.

74| “Screw the caviar, I want to travel the world!” –Unknown

75| “Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in an office or mowing your lawn. Climb that damn mountain.”– Jack Kerouac

76| “If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I’m a size window seat in plane tickets.” – Anonymous

77| “Girls don’t wait for the prince anymore, they pack and travel the world.” – Unknown

Funny Vacation Quotes

78| “All I want for Christmas is you forever vacation.”- Unknown

79| “Me getting ready for vacation: manicure and pedicure, buy new Sephora products, spray tan, get waxed, get hair done, work out for a month, live off kale and veggies, try on 30K swimsuits and cry in dressing rooms. Husband getting ready for vacation: packs a bathing suit, flip-flops, a T-shirt, and calls it a day.”- Unknown 

80| “Be right back…” Just running away from Monday and going straight to the airport. “- Unknown

81| “A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.” – Robert Orben

82| “The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” –Russel Baker

83| “It’s bad manners to keep a vacation waiting.” – Anonymous

84| “You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your drivers license”-Unknown

85| “I heard an airplane passing overhead. I wished I was on it.”- Unknown

86| “Isn’t it amazing how much stuff we get done the day before vacation?” – Zig Ziglar

87| “I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal.” – Jarod Kintz

88| “I need a vacation of 6 months. Twice a year!” – Unknown

89| “The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts.” – Anthony Price

90| “My goal is to hit the gym every day I’m on vacation. Usually I just end up sleeping and drinking beer.” – Gary Allan 

91| “Me before vacation: “I’m going to be responsible with my money. This is a low budget trip. I’m gonna stay in a hostel and everything.”Me on vacation: *orders fancy drinks, rides a jetski, goes skydiving, buys souvenirs for the uncle’s new girlfriend and adopts an alpaca.*”- Unknown

Funny Vacation Captions

92| “I need a vacation so long that I forget my passwords!” -Unknown

93| “Just a reminder that I’m going on vacation and you’re not.”-Unknown 

94| “I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3 day vacation. Just in case.” – Unknown

95| “I can’t afford vacation, so I am just going to drink until I  don’t know where I am.”- Unknown

96| “Life is a trip, plan your next vacation.” – Matthe Fryer

97| “Ladies, imagine this. It’s 15 years from now, and you have no kids. You’re the cool wine aunt that occasionally comes back to the country for a brief visit before leaving for another long exotic vacation. You have no commitments, and a suspicious amount of money.”- Unknown

98| “Live a life you don’t need a vacation from.”- Unknown 

99| “I need a holiday. And by “holiday” I mean I need to move away and find a job. On the beach. With cocktails. “ – Unknown

100| “There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.” Unknown

101| “Vacation calories don’t count, right?”- Unknown

102|“I need a vacation, not a stupid weekend.”- Unknown

103| “My favorite place to vacation is anyplace by the ocean.” – Nina Arianda

104| “Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle

105| “ I’ve got 99 problems. But I am on vacation and I am ignoring them all! “-Unknown

Funny Quotes About Traveling With Friends

106|  “You and me, we are more than friends. We are like a small travel gang!”- Unknown

107|  “You can pack for every occasion, but a good friend will always be the best thing you could bring!” – Unknown

108| “Traveling in the company of those we love is home in motion.”– Leigh Hunt “Only the people you don’t know well enough seem normal. Every person you know well enough is odd, weird and different. This is called friendship!”- Unknown

109| “There is a whole world out there. Pack your backpack, your best friend and go.”- Unknown

110| “ I need a friend I can call in the middle of the night, tell him we have to leave, and the only sentence coming back is “when do we leave?“- Unknown 

111| “ I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” –Mark Twain

112| “Life is about doing things that don’t suck with people who don’t suck.”- Unknown

113| “The more I traveled, the more I realized fear makes strangers of people who should be friends.” – Shirley MacLaine“There are no strangers in this world, only friends I haven’t met yet.”- Unknown

114| “Let’s always vacay together.”- Unknown

115| “In life, it’s not where you go, it’s who you travel with.” -Charles Schultz

116| I don’t know where I’m going, but I’m going. Are you coming with me?”- Unknown

117|  “Sometimes all you need is a great friend and thirst for adventure.”- Unknown

118| “A good friend listens to your adventures. Your best friend makes them with you.”- Unknown

119| “Friend: Let’s go to Bora Bora. Me: Man, I wanna go, but I’m pora pora.”-Unknown

Funny Road Trip Quotes

120| “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” – Jerry Seinfeld

121| “I wish that road trips could pay my bills.” –Unknown

122|“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” – Yogi Berra

123| “Life is beautiful if you are on the road somewhere.”- Orhan Pamuk

124| “Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey.”- Babs Hoffman

125| “On the road again…”- Unknown

126| “A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.”-Emile Ganest

127| “Let’s go on a road trip.”- Unknown

128| “Road trips require a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes – oh, and directions.” – Jenn McKinlay

129| “It’s a road trip! It’s about adventure! . . . It’s not like we have somewhere to go.” – John Green

130| “Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”-George Carlin

Funny Travel Quotes From Movies

131| “Adventure is out there.” – Up

132| “To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.” – The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty

133| “You only get one life. It’s actually your duty to live it as fully as possible.”- Me Before You

134| “I want adventure in the great, wide somewhere.”- Into The Wild

135| “The world is not in your books and maps, it’s out there.”- The Hobbit

136| “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

137| “We travel just to travel.” – The Motorcycle Diaries

138| “Adventure waits for no one.” – The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty

Short Funny Travel Quotes

139| “Jet lag is for amateurs.” –Unknown

140| “I just need a large coffee, a plane ticket and a bag full of cash. “- Unknown

141| ”Can we just skip to the part in my life where I travel the world?”- Unknown

142| “Don’t be a tourist, be a traveler.” – Unknown

143| “If traveling was free, BYE!”

144| “I’ve got a crush on the world.-Unknown

145| “If an ass goes traveling, he’ll not come home a horse.” – Thomas Fuller

146| “I love those days when my only decision is window or aisle.”-Unknown

147| “If traveling was free, you would never see me again.”-Unknown

148| “Buy the ticket, take the ride.”- Unknown

149| “People don’t take trips – trips take people.” – John Steinbeck

150| “The journey, not the arrival, matters.” – T.S. Eliot

151| “I love my job only when I’m on vacation.”- Unknown

152| “He who would travel happily must travel light.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

153| “Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.” – Jim Gaffigan

154| “When in doubt, travel.”- Unknown

155| “I regret traveling said nobody ever!”- Unknown

156| ”I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.” –Bob Hope

157| ”Education is important. But travel is importanter!”-Unknown

158| “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.” – Unknown

159| “Backpacking is money spent on education.” –Unknown

160| “Good things come to those who book flights.”-Unknown

161| “If traveling was free, you would never see me again.”-Unknown

162| “Adventure without risk is Disneyland.” – Doug Coupland

Funny Cruise Quotes

163| “Time to get ship faced.”- Unknown

164| “If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise.”-Unknown 

165| “I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It’s no Titanic, but I’m optimistic.”- Unknown

166| “Bad girls don’t drink and drive…they sip and cruise.”- Unknown

167| “Seas the day and book cruise!”- Unknown

168| “On cruise mode!”- Unknown

169| “Cruise is my favorite season.”- Unknown

170| “The main point of a cruise is to eat until you weigh at the same as the boat.” – Maxine Humor

171| “Shipfaced!”- Unknown

172| “I work to support my cruising addiction.”- Unknown

173| “Work sucks, I’m going on a cruise.”- Unknown

174| “People drink on cruises so that they think the swaying is normal.” –Melanie White

175| “Warning! I bought the drink package.”- Unknown 

176| “Is it cruise o’clock yet?”- Unknown

177| “Living life one cruise at a time.”- Unknown

178| “Eat. Sleep. Boat. Repeat.”- Unknown

179| “Only on a cruise ship will you pay hundreds of dollars a day to sleep in a closet.”- Maxine Humor

180| “Let’s keep it classy on the cruise and promise we won’t dare anyone to jump off the ship.”- Unknown

181| “Honey, pack your “fat pants.” We’re going on a cruise!”- Unknown

Funny Family Vacation Quotes

182| “Help me! I’m on a family vacation.”- Unknown

183| “A family that travels together stays together.”- Unknown

184| “Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together.” – Unknown

185| “Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad.”- Unknown

Funny Relatable Quotes About Travel

186| “I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world.” – Anonymous 

187| “My mom watches a special type of news program that only reports on horrible incidents happening in places I’m about to visit.”- Unknown

188| “Me: I’m not going to overpack this time. Inner me: I need this. I will need that as well. I need everything.

189| “A passport holder sounds like a great idea until you get to the airport and have to remove it 4 billion times.”- Unknown

190| “By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling and comes to family events tipsy.”- Unknown

191|“Packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip. Unpacks 3 months after coming home.”

192| “Some people spending their life searching for “the one.” I’m just searching for the one good travel deal.”-Unknown

193| “Me: triple checked packing list Also me: *forgets underwear, contact solution, and favorite chapstick*”- Unknown

194| “So, do I live out of a suitcase for the next month? Do I unpack just to repack again? Do I put my toothbrush back in the bathroom? I’m a visitor in my own house what the heck.”- Unknown

195| “That moment when you’re asked where you got something and you answer with the name of the country, not the name of the store.- Unknown

196| “Once a year, go somewhere you’ve never been before.” -The Dalai Lama

197| “My parents complain I travel too much. I mean, I could be a drug addict, do they realize how lucky they are?” –Unknown

198| “Do you ever stress about money and then accidentally book another flight?”- Unknown

199| “At the end of the day…I’d rather like to have a lot of stories to tell, then a full bank account.”

200| “Nothing says ‘vacation’ like spending $72 on food and booze at the airport before even reaching your destination.” – Ashley Fern

201| “How can people my age plan  spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel.”-Unknown

202| “Going on a trip. Need about 5 outfits. I’ve packed 35 just to be safe.” – Unknown

203| “My favorite thing to pack on trips are all the clothes I never wear at home and then find fun, flirty and exciting ways to not wear them while I’m away.” – Adam Rippon

204| “My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I’m thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.” – Dennis Miller

205| “The airport is a lawless place. 7 am? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost 17$.” – Alyssa Limperis

206| “I just want to travel the world, overspend at IKEA and drink coffee while cuddling puppies.”- Unknown

207| “My favorite memory from childhood is my parents paying for my holidays.” – Unknown

208| “People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.” – Dagobert D. Runes

209| “I love when people say “just quit your job and travel.” Taking an Uber from the bar to my home is the only travel I can afford.”- Unknown

210| “Please remain seated until we’ve reached the gate, then feel free to stand hunched over weirdly sideways for 15 minutes while we do whatever.” – ContritePerson

211| “The temptation to go to the airport, buy a one way ticket, leave the country and live on my own has never been so real.” – American Nomad

212| “You want to know what it’s like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don’t stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth and nose and breathe your own air over and over and over.” –Lewis Black

213| “You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t nauseated by the food. So you are grateful.” – Paul Theroux

214| “When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to disassemble a bomb? They take it and they’re like, ‘What do I do … I don’t really … ha-huh …’ Yeah, it’s the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!”-Dane Cook

215| “Stuck somewhere between “I need to save” and “you only live once.” – Unknown

216| “Normal life: Wears the same top every day for a week. Packing for 3-day vacation: I’ll probably change a few times a day so I’ll take 21 tops.”- Unknown

217| “If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal.” -Paulo Coelho

218| “Everyone is getting pregnant, engaged or getting married. I just wanna lose weight and travel.”- Unknown

Funny Travel Quotes & Funny Travel Captions Conclusion 

I hope you enjoyed this extensive list of funny travel quotes I compiled for you. Did these funny travel quotes tickle your fancy? Let me know which funny travel captions were your favorite? If you have a hilarious quote, leave it in the comments below. No need to let it waste. I will mix it in with the other funny travel quotes with credit!

Have a love for travel quotes? Check out my other posts with travel quotes and captions to inspire you for your adventures. 

• Best Friend Travel Quotes
• Traveling Alone Quotes
• Beach Travel Quotes
• Quotes About Miami
• Summer Captions & Quotes
• Beautiful Quotes About Greece
• Sunset Captions & Quotes
• Waterfall Quotes & Captions
• New York Instagram Captions

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HELP: I was unsuccessful in finding the author of some of these funny travel quotes. Please leave me a comment or send me a message if you know who the unknown authors are. I would love to give them credit.

HELP: I was unsuccessful finding the author of some of these funny travel quotes. Please leave me a comment or send me a message if you know who the unknown authors are. I would love to give them credit.